There was nothing better than seeing my best friend’s face bright and early at the airport, waiting at our entry gate, weaving through the crowd to meet Zach and I with a big hug and a welcoming smile. I have begun to associate airports with sentiment and special greetings, reunions, and courageous new beginnings. Luckily, I have had the privilege of saying hello to people I love and care about at airports more than I’ve had to say goodbye, but I would also say that airports are often the places where I say goodbye to my old self, say hello to new paths, new choices, new opportunities, new habits, new fears, new...me. As Miranda and Zach caught up and semi-reintroduced each other (ironically, Miranda had asked Zach for information about the tours involved with our hostel, earlier on in the evening that Zach and I met) I rolled my suitcase along the pristine white tiles of what I believed to be the cleanest airport in the world, my thoughts beginning to breed curiosity and wonder. I began to wonder about what this place had in store for me, what it would be like when Zach left, and if I would start to miss home. Who my new friends would be, would I like my job, would my job like me? What would I shop for in the grocery store, how would I learn a new language so quickly, who would I become? What changes would result in this new adventure I had already began to embark on?
Miranda opened the door to my new room for the next few months and welcomed me in. “Here’s your new place! Make it your own, Alexa took down all of the pictures she had up so you could put up your own” she said cheerfully. The blank white walls looked sterile, but felt renewing, as they were my own tabula rasa, or, blank slate. My first time moving out! This was monumental for me. I never had the college dorming experience, I was stuck in the realm of commuting which was too lonely, chaotic, and, routine. Now, I would be paying rent to someone other than my parents, I would be able to put my food in the fridge without having to label it for fear of ravenous siblings, and, I was completely in charge of my own life. Not to mention, I was also living in another country...cross that off my bucket list.
Miranda and Zach made themselves comfortable in my new room, Miranda sitting on the couch, Zach sprawled out across the bed, exhausted from travels. I smiled to myself, so thankful to have two of my favorite people in the world blessing my new living space with smiles, laughter, and overall, good presence. I knew that Miranda’s current spot on the couch would become a reoccurrence throughout the months that I spent time here, I could see her coming in late at night and telling me about her day, talking about random things, comparing who’s legs are hairier at the moment, or adding things to our best friend’s bucket list. I would be upset when Zach left, but at least I was about to have one giant sleepover with my best friend- we were literally living our childhood dream.
After a power nap, Miranda took us out into the city and gave Zach the tour that she had given me not even a year before, for my first visit. We borrowed bikes from where I would be working in a little over a week’s time, and headed out into the beautiful city of Munich that I could now call home. We ate bratwurst in the Viktualien market, one of the most beautiful marketplaces in the world, and the home of the famous Bavarian maypole. I thought about how often I would like to visit the marketplace, perhaps I would try to buy some fresh produce from there, maybe some local honey. It all looked so appealing, however smaller in scale to the grand markets in Italy, also, a little more pricey. We went into churches with magnificent architecture and design, spilling over with gold as the accent color. We went through the English Gardens, one of my favorite areas of the city, admiring the open fields, quiet nooks of forested areas, and waterfalls. The sun was strong, the air thick, but nothing like Italy. We cooled off by having beers at the second largest beer garden in the world, the Chinese Tower. I talked the talk but couldn’t walk the walk when I told Zach that I rarely get drunk anymore, my body had gained too much tolerance from the wine and Birra Moretti’s in Italy- but then there was Bavaria. One stein of beer did the trick, I was not drunk, but I started giggling for no reason. Miranda pointed at me and began laughing “this is what she does when she’s tipsy!” So I’ve learned, it’s safe to say that German beer is a bit more potent than Italian beer.
It was an enjoyable first day, and I was glad to see that Zach seemed to be taking a liking to Munich. Yet another adventure for us, another new place that we were experiencing together. As we drifted off to sleep that evening in my new room, I felt sad knowing that he had to leave me to go off to England in the near future. The reason I wound up in Munich, is because the apartment that Miranda lives in had an open room from June until October. Miranda’s roommate Alexa, went back to the states for the summer, while I filled in the space in Germany. However, there was only space for one person. This was a plan that I had been set on since before Zach and I began to date. Back in October 2016, I knew from the moment that I stepped off of the plane onto New York soil again that I had to go back to Europe. I felt it. This was an opportunity that I knew I would regret not taking. However, things became complicated when Zach and I fell in love, I had to do something that I made the mistake of not doing in my other relationships- being dedicated to my dreams.
Words cannot express my appreciation for this man. I am so thankful to have a partner who is supportive of me following my dreams, discovering my independence, and who understands the call of a new journey. He understood this was necessary for me to experience, and he reassured me that he would be there for support every step of the way. The conversations were difficult, as we both knew how much we would miss each other, the distance a frightening aspect. However, this was a challenge for myself as well, one that I knew I had to overcome. I had never been completely on my own before, and now was my chance to prove that I could do it. In all honesty, that corny saying of love happening when you least expect it, is true. I met Zach the day after I found myself. My sister, a med student with an unusual philosophical wisdom and old soul, told me that our bodies are constantly changing. Our cells, our blood, our brains. She told me that we are constantly finding ourselves and losing ourselves all over again, but in that magical moment, I at least know what I had found. On the edges of Carrick-a-rede Isle on the eastern coast of Ireland, I felt in my soul, a sense of certainty. I felt free, I felt love, I felt bliss, and I felt so alive. I knew that I loved myself and I loved life, and I did not want or need anyone else to prove it. The next evening, I met Zach.
Compromise. It’s been the foundation of our relationship thus far, it’s the only way that long distance, let alone international relationships succeed. We’ve been reunited several times at this point, and it seems our love is stronger every time. However, I must say, that I am very proud of myself for holding my own self love equally as high, to make sure that I reach the goals I’ve been dreaming about since I was a child. The experience has been even more amazing with him by my side thus far, and I will be honored to help Zach do the same for himself in the future.
